I Have Lost None

Noong time na iyon ay binabasa ko ang John chapter 18, na siyang scripture reading noong araw na iyon. Ang pangyayari sa binasa kong iyon ay ang pag-aresto kay Jesus sa hardin ng Gethsemane. Sinabi ng mga sundalo na hinahanap nila si Jesus, at sinabi ni Jesus na Siya nga ang kanilang hinahanap. Karugtong niyon ay isang hiling sa mga ito: na hayaan na lamang ng mga ito ang mga disipulo. Mula roon ay natupad ang sinabi ni Jesus, “Of them which thou gavest me have I lost none.” Ang pangungusap na iyon ay nagkaroon ng epekto sa akin sa isang hindi ko makakalimutang paraan.

Most of the students like me are coming to the end of their school year. They will either graduate, aalis na sa ganitong grade, o papasok sa panibagong yugto ng kanilang buhay. Mine was a definitely different year from the rest ngayong school year na ito. I experienced hardships because of what our pastor and us, the church stood for in the camp. Sa buong taon ko ay hindi nawala sa mga bibig ng mga Eberts ang kaunting hint ng kanilang hinanakit sa ginawa natin noong nakaraang camp. My every belief was put to the test, specially sa aking thesis tungkol sa mga bata. Marami akong pagpipigil na ginawa; I had the urge to speak hard words against them. I learned in a different way that I cannot make things go my way the way I wanted them to. I saw my faults. My fears. My lacks. Ngayong taon ay nagkaroon ako ng inventory ng sarili. How is my relationship with God? With people? With myself?

I thought about the many things God entrusted me. He gave me. Kaya noong mabasa ko yung sentence na iyon, naitanong ko sa sarili ko, “Wala nga ba akong naiwala?” As for Jesus, he “lost none.” Because He cherished His disciples, the eleven, wala Siyang naiwala. He kept what was given to Him. As I look to myself, I think I’ve lost some. At kahit na “some” lang iyon, ay malaki ang naging epekto sa akin. Negatively. I haven’t depended on the grace of God for those things, and I haven’t enough faith in Him to keep those things which He gave me.

How about you? Lahat ba ng binigay sa iyo ng Panginoon ay hindi nawala ngayong taon? O may nawala na? o may nagbabantang mawala? Pag-isipan mong mabuti. You don’t have to go through those things tulad ko. Like Jesus, pwede mo ring masabi, “Of them which thou gavest me have I lost none.”

At kung magkatulad tayong may nawala, there’s still a second chance. Now I am trying to buy those things back. And by God’s grace I will have them again. Kailangan lang ng faith sa Kanya para magawa ko iyon. Oh, Lord, give me faith.

 

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