“No, I don’t want to hear about that this time, OK,” Yester told him. He was really irritated every time Ferdinand brought this subject up—about his destiny the next life. “Please don’t tell me about that Heaven or Hell stuff, OK? All I have to do now is fix my family problem, and nothing else.”
“But you’re focusing on less-important matters than what is really important, Yester,” he replied with the sound of sadness in his voice. “By the way, I would be going, because I have something to do with my family. Bye—ah, wait, think about this Yester. I think you really don’t know the real purpose of life.” he disappeared out of his sight.
When he got home nothing had changed. He got to the office to be alone, but that Ferdinand disturbed him. So his mind was still full of matters unsettled.
He found Cindy his wife sleeping at their room. He didn’t know what to do, if he would go inside or remain at the living room. He decided not to go. He sat back at one of the sofas. He closed his eyes. Suddenly all what that man—Ferdinand—said, which was no boggling his mind.
He then felt his daughter Mollie against his body. She was still awake. “Daddy, sorry for talking to both of you like that. Promise I will do that again.”
“It’s my fault, darling,” Yester comforted his daughter. “I shouldn’t have yelled a your mother at first.” He hugged her tightly.
“Dad, why do you live?” she asked. Secretly, it shocked him. He was never asked things about the purpose of life before. But he answered calmly, “Of course, ah, to care for you. For Justin, and for your Mom.”
“That’s your purpose, Dad, to care for us?” she asked quizzically. “How about when you were young? When we weren’t still born, and you haven’t met Mom?”
“Ah, … to be a responsible person, Mollie,” words almost left him. In fact, if her daughter would ask more, he couldn’t answer it anymore.
“Ah…” her daughter, seemed satisfied, rested on her shoulders. To his relief, she never asked further questions. A minute later, Mollie fell asleep.
After laying her at her brother’s bed, he changed his clothes, and went for a walk at the park. It was January 1, so he had no office work. As he walked, he saw an old man walking idly. What is the purpose of this man’s life? His purposes were not applicable to this man. Even him at that situation could not say what would be his life’s purpose.
Then he saw a child. The boy was giving his goodbye to his grandparents who he and his parents were visiting probably for New Year. To study well, he thought. What after? Well, study is continuous. Be he wasn’t himself convinced.
“I think you really don’t know the real purpose of life.” “Yeah,” Yester said to himself, “and so what?!” Then he realize that it would be better for him to die if he had no purpose.
His supposed exercise this morning was cancelled. He ran back home and saw that it was six AM. He wasn’t tired and he couldn’t sleep so he went into his books and found a book of sayings. He turned into the index and looked for the topic “index.” Then he turned to the page and saw a proverb by an atheist, Bertrand Russell. It read, “Unless you assume a God, the question of life’s purpose is meaningless.”
“A God,” he repeated.
“Are you going to Heaven when you die?” he remembered what Ferdinand said.
Am I going to heaven when I die? he questioned himself. What is my life’s purpose?