I’m 24. My father always calls me an “eligible bachelor,” describing me as capable enough, responsible enough, and handsome (!) enough to get married. While you may think I get elated when I hear that, it actually worries me. Because I’ve heard men like me who were praised the same and it got to their heads and courted some woman they liked and they got married. But the marriage turned out to be so hard for them. Those men realized that they were not really capable enough and responsible enough (I don’t know about the ‘handsome enough,’ haha) to handle married life.
God taught me to learn from the experiences of others, and so I was keen on learning from marriages from the experiences of others. And I’ve learned that if you are not prepared, or if you think you are prepared, and you get married, your marriage actually becomes a mess. You can’t convince me otherwise because I’ve seen many marriages like these. Those who do not explode or shatter are those marriages, though those in it are pretty immature, are continually guided by others who knew better and have gone through those hardships.
So as much as I’m pressured to court and to marry someone, I am not bowing to it. Actually, I am currently in love with a woman four years younger than me, and I want to marry her someday. I expressed my feelings for her, and she declared that she loves me, too. Nevertheless, we don’t rush. We are continually knowing each other. In fact, I haven’t courted her yet, even though I’m convinced she is the one. (We’ve known each other for almost ten years.) Because for me, courting means you are ready to get married, and I know myself better (and at the same time I do not know myself enough) to say that I am ready. I want God’s will to happen in my life, and I think He’s not into that for my life as yet.
It’s because I believe marriage is not a joke! Getting married is not a joke. I do not take marriage as Hollywood or the entertainment industry treat it, like it is some sort of saliva that you can spit out anytime you felt doing so. For me, marriage is sacred, and I’m treating it as such. You do not touch something sacred when you still feel unclean to get your hands on it. For me, God’s preparation is very, very important. I don’t want to destroy that woman’s life, as much as I don’t want to destroy mine.
For now, as the then-married Natasha Bedingfield said in her song, “I’m single. That’s how I wanna be.”
Because getting married is not joke!